Most people think of Ramadan as a month of sacrifice, caffeine withdrawal, lack of sleep, or huge feasting parties.
What Ramadan is actually about is developing as a person, creating healthy habits, and learning self-discipline. Many of these topics I gently touched on in my Ramadan Learning Series.
But one thing is missing from this infographic.
Ramadan is a month of love.
The more I love someone, the more time I want with them. They are on my mind constantly, when I wake up, or before I go to bed. Remembering them is automatic and their preferences become my preferences. How do I stay in that state of love? Especially if the one I love is no longer in this world? Doesn’t that feel a little one-sided? Is it more devotion than love? What do I get from loving someone who does not respond?
Ramadan is a time to connect deeply with the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)1 because he is the model and mode by which Muslims understand divine decree. He is the one who showed us how to behave, how to be in the world, and how to become the best versions of ourselves. He (S) was deeply caring and considerate of people, even people who hated him.
I am part of a community in which this love operates as a core tenet. I am with other people who also love him, so there’s a system and structure in place to facilitate learning, growth, and remembering the Beloved. There’s a place to ask hard questions and to sit with the despair of holding onto faith during a mass ethnic cleansing of Muslims on a global scale.
When there’s so much systemic hatred directed at you, what else do you do but lean into love?
Many details of his life feel so hard, even in the modern age.
Muslims never started with a false premise of their prophet’s perfection. We were told repeatedly he was a man, and he was tested, despite being the Messenger of God. For example, he buried all of his sons, his grandsons; only his daughters survived to adulthood. He grew up with no access to prestige or power, as an orphan from age 6. He became a leader of a civilization but his first followers were his wife, then a child, and then a slave. This is not an insignificant sequence. He won battles; he lost battles. He lived in poverty, rejecting the riches promised to him if he would stop talking about monotheism. His life was full of tribulation despite his status and proximity to God. Muslims take many lessons from his life but a primary lesson is that God tests those he loves.
Muslims didn’t inherit a set of archaic or rigid rules like women cannot touch the holy books. Or a false notion of celibacy. Or theology that connects wealth to godliness. Muslims are not a monolith by any means, but this thread of love is woven through every culture of this global community.
Muslims inherited songs/stories that illustrated the details of his life, what he said, what he did. The most intimate details of his life are captured in stories and explicit narrations, especially from his wives. So many stories of who he was came from his friends and family. Aren’t those the people who know you best?
I’ve read the Old and New Testament (mandatory reading in liberal arts college) but I never had to read the stories of the Prophet’s life. I spent a year studying the Odessey and the Iliad-- nothing stuck from those classes — but I never studied the Qasida Burda by Al Busiri. I never heard of this love poem until relatively recently.
From attending just one class, I wanted to share just a fragment of what I learned. Despite my ignorance, this love poem has been memorized and recited for centuries.
Al Busiri's Burda is the most famous poem known as the Burda, but the poem originally known by that name was composed by the poet Ka'b ibn Zuhayr, one of the companions. Before accepting Islam, Ka'b used his poetry to slander the Muslims. He was a poet who mocked the Muslims. When he became Muslim, he wrote and recited this poem to The Prophet (S) and other companions to express his remorse over his past actions. When he finished reciting it, The Prophet (S) threw his cloak (burda) to Ka'b. That’s why the poem is known as the Burda because it’s a sort of apology, and the Prophet (S) responds by taking off his cloak and gifting it to this man who used to hate him.
Last weekend, I attended my first class on the Burda. Taught by a scholar Dr. Ibrahim Elhoudaiby, a historian of the modern Middle East and Shaykh Yasir Fahmy, the class drew over 100 people, men and women, on a Sunday afternoon.
In fact, it was a gorgeous Sunday. As sunlight streamed through the large bay windows of a masjid on Church Street (the irony is not lost), I was tempted to leave, to run errands before Costco closed. What brings families to spend a few hours reflecting and learning like this?
Love.
Inside the masjid, a chorus of voices sang:
مَولَاىَ صَلِّ وَسَلِّمْ دَائِمًا أَبَدًا
ِعَلَى حَبِيبِكَ خَيرِ الْخَلْقِ كُلِّهِمO my Lord, bless and grant peace always and forever
Upon Your beloved one, the Best of all Creation
People sat and sang, as we contemplated the words in the text.
Being in love, I try my best to remember and follow little habits I’ve learned from his (S) life. I try to read his biography. I try to learn more about him. I tell my kids about what a love like this does to character and behavior. I try to memorize something he said, and retell stories of how he acted, how he responded to his enemies. I weave in anecdotes from what little I know to share with my children.
When you’re in love, everything reminds you of the beloved.
In my house, I’m rereading Sean Covey’s The 7 Habits of Happy Kids with my children. Each of these short stories relates to a story of the Prophet in my mind. Each of Covey’s principles or virtues, from responsibility, respect, teamwork and balance, connects to a different part of the Prophet’s biography, so I make these not-so-obvious connections. For example, in “Big Bad Badgers” the 7 Oaks friends learn how to work as a team to defeat the Badgers in a game of soccer. When they work alone, they cannot score even one goal against the Badgers. Lily the Skunk stopped to pick flowers and Pokey decided to take a nap in the middle of the game. But when they focused on each person’s unique strengths and began playing as a team, they were unstoppable against a formidable opponent. This is an analogy for how each companion (or friend) of the Prophet had unique assets/liabilities and yet, they had to learn to work together for the sake of the larger vision.
An Example of His (S) Gentleness
Recently I was struck by a hadith in which someone (a man) came to the Prophet (S) and asked him if he could commit adultery. And rather than rebuke him, the Prophet (S) gently asked him, would you want this for your mom? Your sister? Your daughter? Your maternal aunt? Each time, the companion said, no. Then stay away from it, the Prophet said.
While God is explicit about the punishments of hellfire for adultery, the Prophet (S) is gentle in his approach to a human desire to want more than what you have. 2
There are countless stories like this, in which I am struck by his gentleness and compassion for the range of human emotions. Rather than judgment, which is what people expect from the Prophet of God, he was open, accessible and kind. He showed us how to behave in the most turbulent times.
The English translation does not even come close to the Arabic, but here are some lines from the poem:
For he is the sun of virtue, and they are its planets;
They display its lights to mankind in the darkness.
How noble the qualities of a Prophet beautified by such traits:
Full of beauty, and marked by smiles and good cheer!
Like flowers in delicate beauty, like the full moon in honor;
like the sea in generosity, like time in persistence.
So majestic was his presence that even when alone
he appeared surrounded by a large army and retinue.
It is as if precious hidden pearls, sparkling from their shells,
came from the treasure-mine of his speech and smile.
No perfume can match the ground that holds his bones.
Blessed are those who breathe in its fragrance or kiss it!
A Question for You
How do you make time to reconnect with the Beloved? Do you have a favorite seerah book, story or song? Let’s meet in the comments!
Here are some resources I recommend for learning more about the Prophet (S):
In the Footsteps of the Prophet by Tariq Ramadan
Revelation by Meraj Mohiuddin
Thank you for getting this far. Welcome to Sadia’s Ramadan Learning Series, which offers micro-lessons I’m learning for a joyful Ramadan during a time of genocide.
Here’s what you might have missed if you’re new.
Pre-Read: Ramadan: A Guest That Stays a Month.
Lesson 1: A Small Intention
Lesson 2: 3 Levels of Fasting
Lesson 3: Sleep is a Gift
Lesson 4: Do Less, Not More
Lesson 5: More Gifts
Lesson 6: Five-Minute Phone Calls
Lesson 7: Who’s Your Pharaoh
Lesson 8: A Pause
Lesson 9: Thank Your Mother
Lesson 10: Run from Triviality
Lesson 11: Don’t Stop Learning
Lesson 12: Let (the kids) Be Hungry
Lesson 13: Give More Hugs
For Muslims, anytime the Prophet is mentioned the honorific title is used: ﷺ which translates to “peace be upon him.” But for ease of online reading and the fact that I have no idea where you are when reading this post, I stylistically prefer using (S) which is short for “sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.”
Historically, each prophet leads his community, but the followers of Moses and the followers of Jesus have a much harder time relating to their prophets. In fact, their traditions placed more emphasis on the praxis and doctrine that was codified after their prophets lived. The evolution of their faiths as institutions made it hard for everyday people to know their prophets. Their religions became less accessible, especially for the poor and women who have always been a threat to patriarchal power. This idea is just a footnote.
A poignant piece or reflection! We always need to be reminded that love always be the pillar of our faith
I was going to say Tariq Ramadan’s book. His was the first that made me consider Prophet Muhammad’s (saws) life and the real, human challenges with becoming a prophet. Being doubted and hated by the people who previously loved you, or thought they did, and of course the deaths of his children and his wife Khadijah May Allah be pleased with her.