The first ten days of Ramadan are known as a period of mercy. Today I want to reflect briefly on God’s name “Ar-Rahman,” which is derived from the word Rahm or womb in Arabic.
Why is God’s name so close to the word for womb?
The womb is a place of protection and care. Inside only a mother’s body, a womb is the first home for the human being. The womb symbolizes almost a one-directional love. The mother carries the baby for 40 weeks (more or less). All she feels is the pain in her lower back, as her hips widen, her feet swell, and her face erupts in adult acne (not speaking from experience, just hypothetically ok?) Her Kafka-esq metamorphosis is like going in reverse from a beautiful butterfly into a wriggly, crawling, partially dissected caterpillar. Eventually, she’ll get her body back but she’s the host for 9 months and if she’s nursing, her body is a food source/supplement for another 2 years.
The baby has no awareness of his mother, no feelings of his mother in the womb, and yet the mother feels an incredible attachment to the infant, whether the child makes it through to this world or not.
Is the child in love with the mother in her womb? No.
Is the child even aware of the mother in the womb? No.
The womb is an apt metaphor for how most people relate to God. It’s one-directional.
Most people are oblivious to God’s existence in their daily work and life. They have no awareness that they are cocooned and governed by layers of invisible forces. On another level, I am in the womb of the earth; the Earth’s atmosphere is protected by some ozone layer that keeps the planet from boiling up or freezing. There are so many dimensions of our physical world that are at work, without our conscious awareness or understanding.
For those who reflect, however, there’s a mindfulness practice of how each breath, every action originates because of a series of systems and processes that we have no conscious control over. I did not “create” my nervous system, my limbic system, circulatory system, etc. I do not “create” these systems for an unborn child. There are hundreds of automatic processes happening inside my body at any moment for me to be able to type these words on a screen, and for you to understand me is another miracle entirely. If you spend time with anyone with Down syndrome, or cognitive divergence, you could never take your internal bodily processes for granted. In fact, March 21st was World Down Syndrome Day, which I learned about at the kids’ school. Down syndrome (or Trisomy 21) is a condition in which a person has an extra
chromosome. Down syndrome occurs naturally – there is no known cause. If you or someone you know has a condition such as this, you know personally how no action you’ve taken or not taken is the “cause” of your condition.
Even without this awareness of the mother, the child is nurtured, fed and protected in his mother’s womb. The mother is aware of her baby at all times. She’s not running marathons as a pregnant woman. She’s not starting horseback riding lessons. She has to embrace the intentional slowness as her body grows another human. The process of slowing down happens involuntarily.
During gestation, a woman has two hearts, two sets of every organ and limb growing inside her. At a macro level, there are babies born every minute but at an individual level, every conception is a miracle. So many things had to happen perfectly for you to exist at this particular moment, reading these words.
Thank you for being a complete miracle.
A Question For You
When was the last time you considered yourself a miracle? I am serious, though it sounds like a terrible pickup line. Your existence is not random. Do you consider how much your mother endured physically, emotionally, and psychologically to care for you? Even if you had a negligent mother, her body had to adapt and nurture you long enough for you to be here. And if you’re blessed to have your mother still in this world, she deserves more than a text back.
Just the fact that I exist in this universe of automatic processes that happen inside my body makes me pause and give thanks. I did not consciously “will” my heart to pump, or my cells to multiply. I find mercy in these systems that keep my body and mind functioning. I’m inhabiting a womb of mercy and so are you.
The picture above is from artwork that my kids and I did together. The first quote here is “Paradise lies at the feet of the mother.”
Welcome to the Ramadan Learning Series, which offers micro-lessons I’m learning for a joyful Ramadan. Here’s what I have so far:
Pre-Read: Ramadan: A Guest That Stays a Month.
Lesson 1: A Small Intention
Lesson 2: 3 Levels of Fasting
Lesson 3: Sleep is a Gift
Lesson 4: Do Less, Not More
Lesson 5: More Gifts
Lesson 6: Five-Minute Phone Calls
Lesson 7: Who’s Your Pharaoh
Lesson 8: A Pause
A beautiful reflection Sadia. Your question on considering how much a mother suffers for her child brought to mind this passage from Risalat al-Huquq (A Treatise on Rights) by Imam Zayn al-Abidin (as). In it he writes:
The right of your mother is that you know that she carried you where no one carries anyone, she gave to you of the fruit of her heart that which no one gives to anyone, and she protected you with all her organs. She did not care if she went hungry as long as you ate, if she was thirsty as long as you drank, if she was naked as long as you were clothed, if she was in the sun as long as you were in the shade. She gave up sleep for your sake, she protected you from heat and cold, all in order that you might belong to her. You will not be able to show her gratitude, unless through God's help and giving success.
Here is a link for the entire treatise: https://www.al-islam.org/treatise-rights-risalat-al-huquq-imam-ali-zayn-al-abidin/treatise-rights
this entire post and your writing warmed my heart. thank YOU for being a complete miracle.